Women Wedding Suits

what to wear to a formal black tie wedding?

first of all - let me be clear - i KNOW what the rules are for a formal wedding. i know it's tuxedo for men & floor length gown for women. my question is about bending the rules. my step-brother has planned a black tie formal evening wedding. after speaking with family members, i know some of the men have chosen not to rent a tuxedo since they will be guests and not in the wedding party. i am up in the air as to what to tell my husband to wear. he doesn't want to wear a tux, so i think he should wear a black suit with a white button down shirt (or cream colored shirt to match my formal cream gown) and a regular long straight black tie. does this offend anybody if he doesn't wear a tux? i know that our close friend as well as my brother-in-law will not wear a tux. should my husband wear a white shirt to be more formal or cream colored shirt to match me? nobody in the wedding, including my mother and the bride has any problem with me wearing cream. the bride is in white and the bridesmaids are in pink. my question really comes down to this - white or cream for my husband?

Public Comments

1. As guests, you may wear whatever you wish. As long as the attire is appropriate, the bride and groom should not have a problem.
2. Your husband should wear a white shirt, or cream shirt, no white,....Cream,...Oh whateva! As long as he has a dark suit, it really doesn't matter.
3. A black suit should be fine. Make sure he has a nice white shirt, maybe a tux shirt? And a black, or simple tie. French cuffs on the shirt would be a nice touch. You are wearing cream to a wedding? I sure hope you cleared that with the bride.
4. There have been many times I have been invited to 'black tie' affairs. The first time I had to rent a tux, but when I got there MANY men were wearing suits. I asked about protocal and i was told 'Black Tie' is somewhat optional - I am not saying to show up in jeans and a t-shirt, but a nice, conservative black suit, white shirt and a tie (blue, or red) should be fine.
5. Have him wear a modern tux. If you go to a store that sells tuxedos, you will see that they have changed. Gone are the patent leather shoes and the cumberbun around the midriff. Now it's more like a black suit with a stylish vest and an interesting tie. You can ditch the tuxedo collar and the bow tie too. There's an opportunity here for him to look really cool. You can do like a black shirt under the black tux with no tie and have the shirt open at the collar - or have a thin long tie instead of a bow tie. Cool.